


Beautiful Lies

by galaxtree



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Depressed Lance (Voltron), Depression, Established Keith/Lance (Voltron), Established Relationship, Heavy Angst, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Insecure Lance (Voltron), I’m sorry, Lance (Voltron) Angst, M/M, Suicide Attempt, The Author is Projecting onto Lance, This is not happy kids, vent fic, why do I hurt my son like this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-19
Updated: 2018-10-10
Packaged: 2019-07-14 09:46:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16037951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galaxtree/pseuds/galaxtree
Summary: Lance leaves his family his final goodbyes.-He let his gaze fall across every small detail in his room, inhaling the Febreze scented air for the last time.-TW!!Attempted suicideImplied depression-On mad hiatus





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is mostly me projecting onto Lance I’m very sorry I can’t stop hurting hIM
> 
> (This is a vent fic btw)

 

The boy in the mirror stared blankly back at him, oceanic eyes boring into his skull.

 

His eyes.

 

He let his gaze fall across every small detail in his room, inhaling the Febreze scented air for the last time. 

 

He was going to be away for awhile.

 

The teal sheets on his bed lay scrunched up, unmade and tangled. Sunlight filtered through the windows, dust mites caught in the rays of the setting sun. Picture frames sat askew atop the desk, wide grins evedent on everyone’s faces.

His hands trembled as he re-read the paper in his hands for the hundredth time.

 

_ Dear mamá, _

 

_ I’m so sorry, none of this is your fault. I love you, and I know it’s ironic for your me to tell you this, but keep fighting.  _

_ Tell abuela that I’ll miss her garlic knots, and tell Marco he can have my room, if he wants. _

 

_ Veronica and Rachel, you two will always be the best hermanas ever. Stay strong, even though I couldn’t. _

 

_ Team Punk. _

_ Please don’t miss me too much. I’m sorry for breaking up the garrison trio, but you two need to be free from me holding you back. _

 

_ Shiro, make sure Katie sleeps before 2am and keep Hunk out of the kitchen past 10. Take care of them, since I won’t be able to anymore. _

 

_ Allura, princess, light of my life, leader of the next free world, please don’t blame yourself. You did all you could to protect me, but you need to let go. Slay the universe. You deserve it. _

 

_ Coran Coran the gorgeous man, keep on rocking. I won’t be able to listen to your stories anymore, but I’m sure my niece and nephew would love to hear all about juniberries. Take care of my family for me, entender? _

 

_ And Keith. _

 

_ Mi amore. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I love you so much it hurts sometimes, but I can’t let you waste away with me. You have a life ahead of you, meet a nice boy, have a fabulous wedding, a perfect family. _

 

_ At least it’ll all end with me loving you. Forever, and a little more after that. _

 

_ Te amo, _

_ Lance. _

 

Lance. That was his name. Lance. It was heavy on his tounge. Did it even matter anymore? He was so numb.

The ink warped and swirled in concentrated areas of the paper, damaged by water.

 

By tears. _His_ tears.

 

He trudged across the room, the world in slow motion around him. Dull blue eyes welcoming his doom. 

 

The noose was tied with a perfect knot. He learnt that in Boy Scouts, how ironic.

 

What’s meant to help will always harm. 

 

The glow in the dark stars scattered across his roof glimmered almost mournfully, as if to say their final goodbyes to the boy who loved and loved and loved until he had no more love left for himself.

 

He climbed onto the stool stolen from the living room, paper still clenched in his hand. He still couldn’t feel the pain, the cold seeping into his bones.

 

_ I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry _ .

 

He slipped his head through the loop of the rope, eyes glazed over with unshed tears, too deep in thought to notice the sound of the front door opening.

 

“Please forgive me, mi querido.”

 

His voice was void of emotion, and he hadn’t realised he had spoken out loud before he heard the words, ringing in his ears.

 

He couldn’t hear the soft, “Lance?” From the other side of the door.

 

He kicked the chair from underneath him as the door burst open, revealing a mop of black hair and frantic violet eyes.

 

Lance let himself go lax as the rope cut off his air supply, ignoring the hysterical screams of his boyfriend. He felt hands lifting him up and tug, tug, tugging on the rope wrapped securely around his throat.

 

The world was fading to a staticky crackle, snatched snippets of rushed words making it to his ears.

 

“-bulance! My boyfriend tr-“

 

“Lan-!”

 

And oh,  _ oh,  _ this was bad. Pidge was too young too see this. No, no, no,  _ no, no. _ This was not meant to happen.

 

The rope was being tug, tug, tugged again, and Lance could feel barely himself collapse to the floor, the world a blur of muddled shades of gray. 

 

He could feel someone cradling his head, begging him just to  _ breathe, dammit! _

 

Keith.

 

He felt a selfish wave of bliss course through his body.

 

He would die in the arms of the man he loved.

 

He’d love him forever, and a bit after that.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything goes down from Keith’s POV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s the second chap y’all were asking for :)
> 
> I had a bunch of fights with my parents and this happened so yay? I also had a self harm fit and she told me I should get over myself and I’m uhG so here we go this crappy thing was born legGO  
> It’s really bad I’m sorry  
> Have fun

It was eerily quiet. No Beyoncé blasting with Lance chatting happily to his family on the couch.

No textbooks scrawled across the coffee table, a random Netflix original murmuring in the background.

Everything else was in place, he noted, as he fluttered through the disorganized apartment.

Everything but that stool.

He didn’t know why it irked him so much, but that one kitchen stool. That one kitchen stool.

Keith managed to maneuver his way over to the door of Keith and Lance’s shared room before he heard the words, the gentle beat of a hummingbird's wings against the thrall of a hurricane.

A whispered prayer in the roar of a crowd.

“Please forgive me, mi querido.”

Keith felt his body turn to stone, joints stiffening and arms going tense. The world around him moved, yet it was still.

His phone buzzed, one, twice, thrice.

The aircon spluttered from where it sat, begging to be used.

Pidge reached the door.

Traffic hummed a single chaotic tune, far, far from where they were.

All Keith could do was let a breathy “Lance?” leave his lips before the world shuddered and lurched back into overdrive.

-

Time was strange. A minute lasts a second, and a second lasts an hour. Keith could see the distance between them as the stool splintered against the ground. Panicked screams and choppy footsteps carried him over to his asphyxiating boyfriend, seconds stretching like taffy, pulling Lance further and further away from him.

He vaguely recognized Pidge’s rapid typing over the the pace of his heartbeat as he yanked on the rope that kept the Cuban male off the ground. The woven twine that swayed between life and death.

Keith fumbled for his knife, strapped into its holster, before hacking into the rope, threads snapping and splitting under the glinting blade. 

Keith didn’t remember how the phone in his hand got there. The world was ringing, a blanket of white noise. Keith was sure he was saying something, his throat scratchy and numb, phone humming in his hand.

He watched as the body of the man he loved crumpled to the floor, his life seeping into the cracks in the floorboards. Keith towered over him, hands grasping either side of his face, trying to find a pulse.

Words left his mouth in tumbling blocks, snatches of high-pitched wailing and footsteps penetrating the fog that smothered his rational thoughts.

Paramedics swarmed the room as Keith watched the universe tear in front of his eyes, only to be sewn back together with haphazard stitches of mismatched thread.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do I add more chapters???????? How do fish drink water?????? Becky want sum tail????? Where did ya boi get his free taco?????  
> These are all the questions I need answers to.
> 
> Hmu @galaxtree on insta thanks shameless self promo


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ocean always played a large part in Lance’s life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter (whole fic really) is a mess and so am I
> 
> I’m sleep deprived enjoy

The setting sun was a swirling palette of oranges and purples, an untouchable masterpiece just over the horizon. Lance felt the familiar chill of seafoam as it swirled merrily against his ankles, drenching his jeans.

 

The cavity in his chest seemed to swell at the sight of the beach. It was where Keith had gently pressed their foreheads together, breath mingling as “I love you” slipped past his lips for the first time.

 

(They chased each other through the sand after that, dunking each other under jumping waves, the tide rising, erasing all evidence they were ever there.)

 

His heart swelled in time with the waves, seaweed scattered across golden sand. The ocean screamed his name in every crash, crying for the Cuban boy.

 

It felt so empty without Keith.

 

Lance felt the tears dribble down his cheeks, mingling with the churning water. Lance wondered if his tears had created this ocean, wondered if he had drained his blood to create these fine granules of sand. Lance wondered if something a disgusting as him could create such a masterpiece.

 

A breeze caressed his cheek, carrying whispers of broken wailing. Lance felt a different pain in his chest, a blaze that wrapped around the gaping hole in his chest. The single pair of footsteps felt so much lonelier.

 

(He remembers building sand-castles with Keith, flinging dripping globs at each other. He remembers roughhousing and rumbling before coming to a halt, violet eyes suddenly the most breathtaking view on that beach.)

 

Lance clawed at his shirt. He thought the hurt would go away. Why wasn’t it gone? _Por favour, it needs to be gone._

 

The ocean cried his name again, a low broken moan, as birds above head begged for him to come back, chittering mournfully. The glowing orange sunset flickered, tearing purple eyes filling the sky for a split second.

 

Lance watched helplessly as blinding white _nothing_ crept across his picture perfect background, cementing his feet to the shifting ground.

 

The ocean roared once more, before falling silent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry I love my blu boi but I project my suicidal-ness and depresso expresso on him
> 
> Y’all already know I’m gonna shamelessly (@galaxtree) promote (@galaxtree) myself (@galaxtree) 
> 
> Plz leave kudos and comments so I can feed my chickens


End file.
